Number five is number one. Number seven is number two. Number three and number four are tied for number three.
-What are you talking about?
I'm ranking my favorite "Fast and the Furious" movies. You said you wanted to know who I am, and this is the best way to get to know me.
-No, it isn't. You could tell me your real name, for starters.
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And is, uh, that a family member?
-I wish. That's Ariana Grande, the sexiest woman alive.
You wish that you were related to a woman you want to have sex with.
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Listen, I don't need the Chidi who once had a panic attack during Rock-Paper-Scissors because there were, and I quote, "just too many variables."
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No, Chidi, true love is rare, like a desert flower betwixt two oases, but true love's also very simple. And right now, I'm just a girl towering over a boy asking him to admit he loves me.
===
What's up, Carson Daly? My name is Jason. I wanna give a shout-out to all my homies up in Jacksonville.

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